Laura Seabrook's Ramblings

My plan was - have a good night's sleep, take Bobby to see Ron at the aged care centre, and then on to see my counsellor (who was a block away). Didn't work out that way.

Got woken up at 4am buy being jumped on by Hallie. Now I know I had the connecting door shut, and the front door open (because Bobby had been throwing up) but she was there, and when I put her back down the other end I found the connecting door open. Found it really hard to get back to sleep. Woke up after 6am in bad mood. Kevin was up with insomnia and I had Hallie there (which i hadn't wanted). I took the dogs for a walk but I'm afraid I terrorised Hallie (I was just so angry, justified or not). When I got home I made breakfast and put Hallie back down the other end of the house and shut the connecting door. Even so I had breakfast in the study. When she came down once while I was getting ready I forced her back down the other end. I got the carrier ready for Bobby, and then i couldn't find him.

Looked for the bugger and he was in next door's backyard! I couldn't go in get him as (so far as I knew) they were still asleep. I was totally flusted, gave up on taking him and just left, leaving him next door (I figured he would find his own way back). But my mind was going in a crazy circle, all wound up. I decided to see a film, any film, at Glendale to take me out of that loop. I had a counselling appointment in the afternoon and calculated I could see one film and still get there on time. I was wrong. Saw Shutter Island - a disturbing but predictable film about an asylum for the criminally insane - but found I'd miscalculated and missed the bus.  The appointment was at 1pm and after taking two other buses and walking over a kilometre I got there just before 2pm. And here's where it gets even more weird, because my counsellor's 2pm appoint had missed their bus and was getting there at 3pm, so I still had a timeslot.

Shit I need that session. I have been very wound up and miserable of late, especially after yesterday. Feel like a wreck, and almost smashed a chair. Got issues that don't go away or seem to be worked out. But it helped. After the session I visited Ron. AHis brother died a couple of weeks after jenny, and he's going to the funeral on Friday. I'm taking Bobby to see him tomorrow and should turn up during a BBQ. Ron seemed very sad. I found that he and Jenny had been married since 1979. I always thought that it'd been since the early 90s, but was way off (though I wonder if he means 1989?).

Got home about 5pm, took the dogs for a proper walk to the chip shop and after feeding the pets fed myself. Have been sleeping a lot, but woke with diarrhoea - bleaugh. Hallie is up the other end and the door's shut. No fleabomb today as I'm going out. Bobby has been scratching a lot and even the flea powder doesn't help. I hope he'll be OK for today.

Better get back to bed. Been sleeping a lot but not in a good way.

I just finished watching this crazy and wonderful animated film. In the extras there was this video clip

The sound's a bit low on the above - better sound (but darker video) in the French Version. I never heard of -M- before. Anyone know anything about him? The song seems to be a popular subject at youtube, including a peculiar Sound Station version.

Just feel fucked this morning. My head's spinning again. Found a cushion all ripped up on one of the sofas, and a big poo in the craft room, and lots of kitty litter scattered all around. Don't know which animals have done what . Not happy.

Got to go out and do photos. Feel, crazy. Upset. Language is shuttin gown agin.

Shit shit shit.