laura_seabrook | May. 11th, 2012

...I have to admit to have a Facebook Addiction. I've just posted this at my Laura.Ess account there:

I have decided that maintaining this account is too emotionally costly for me. It's clear that I have become addicted to certain elements of Facebook and this account is the most likely to indulge me in those activities. If I were just stuck at home with little else to do that may not be an issue, but I am in the middle of my Masters in Fine Art, attempting to produce two graphic novels, an exhibition and a research paper. This is important to me, and failing at this would be unthinkable. I do not think I can maintain the effort to make that happen if I continue on in Facebook with this account.

I now understand that this is indeed an addiction. My efforts to avoid just such a situation by using an alternate account, while helpful, have ultimately been a failure, as I creep back to this account. And no matter what my intentions, I always spend more time in Facebook than planned, get suckered into discussions, memes and tropes that I either can't cope with or limit. And like another addiction like alcohol, Facebook promises to be a everything socially but is seldom there for me in meaningful or timely ways - that's part of a hook of an addiction: you keep going back hoping that something will change.

Can't afford that. Last week I was emotionally down over not being able to say "NO", to have taken up a task of making an artwork which, considering more important and timely deadlines related to the Masters, was an ill made decision. But yesterday I popped on Facebook for "5 minutes" to check messages, but ended up the whole day on Facebook, when I should have been getting ready for my confirmation. That is a destructive addiction and I can't live with this any more.

I will continue to update my ARTIST'S PAGE (see the first comment below) but will be deleting this account in a few days time. I will be posting status updates linking to this note regularly until then, so that folk get the message. If you still wish to keep up to date with what I'm doing, SUBSCRIBE TO THAT PAGE. Otherwise I will still be making updates on LIVE JOURNAL (see the 2nd comment) and you can follow things there.

That is all.

And this time I WILL delete that account. My Artist's Page will still be kept going via a dummy account (with few friends and stuff so that the same thing doesn't happen). Live Journal (which I repost to from DreamWidth) is safe. I'm not going to get addicted to that, and certain groups which I want to stay in on Facebook can be serviced via that Dummy Account.

It's been hard getting to this point, but the thing with an addiction is that I can't have a half measure. That's like saying "Just one drink". It don't work. And the dummy account? Well I will still be playing word games like Scrabble and Lexelous, but that doesn't take all day and doesn't lead into ever enveloping discussions and entanglements.