Laura Seabrook's Ramblings

Not run by me, just plugging it.

However, that said - I've applied to join with Tales of the Galli, and have picked the cards The Empress (Cybele) and King of Swords (Constantine).

As a tarot reader, I find using the cards a good way of helping me see things that I'm otherwise too close to see. However, right now I just can't use my deck for myself. The other week I borrowed a deck of The Fairy Pack from the local library. When confusion and despair came on about my sexual frustration, I tried a reading with them.

( Readings under cut )

So, am I still locked into old anger, grief, or fear? Maybe so. It's always hard to let go. I can never consciously do this, because it retains focus on the crap I want to let go off. Rather, what works for me is embracing new stuff that fills the gaps the other stuff leaves. Does that sound reasonable?

After the last post, I felt the need to draw some cards. I haven't even looked at my Tarot deck since last November. But I felt the need now, I needed something to "bounce" my mind off.

I used the Mermaids and Dolphins deck, and the Karma Cards, because they gave answers and ideas that are less warped by one's hopes and fears. Didn't do a proper tarot reading for myself 'cause I'm not in a centred state to do so. I asked for help, and then drew the cards.

Anyway, the M&D deck gave me:

• Now: YES + Tranquillity (I drew 2 cards by mistake)
  Your intuition is correct, take action accordingly. Make time to relax, be still, and enjoy your solitude, indulging in much needed self-care.
• Soon: A New Dawn
  The worst is now behind you, and positive new experiences are on the horizon.
• Result/Advice: Dream Big
  Let go of small thoughts about yourself! See yourself succeeding.

And the Karma Cards gave (Saturn in Pisces in the 3rd House):

• Spiritual:
  Be realistic about your dreams by making the right connections.
• Mental:
  Be concerned about your idealization of the idea in question.
• Physical:
  You must wait before you can be a part of something overwhelming and get your ideas going.

All of which tells me that taking a rest and attending to my needs is the right thing to do. Sometimes it's so hard for me to do just that, to sit still and do nothing. I tend to feel guilty over stupid things, like not getting a web comic done, and I wind myself up without real reason.

The only real concern I have is that I can get my artwork finished in time for the exhibition on the 26th. That's only 10 days away. I was going to go out today and try some more photos (riding my scooter out to Glendale), but maybe I'll just stay home instead. There will be time enough to take them once I feel better.

I have (almost) finished my Trans Tarot Deck. Click on the image below to see the full set (with comments).

Seems I've come to a big decision about my Trans Tarot Deck.

All along, I've wanted to print them for exhibition at a minimum of A2 size (see A4 for a comparison of paper sizes) or 420 × 594 mm. Now it seems that I can either...

• go for a really good paper print and in colour, which will cost me about $520 ($24 each) using the printer in Photomedia at the university; or
• print it in photocopy/poster paper in black and white, on a plan printer for about $96 ($4.40 each, and I can get A1 for $5.50 each)

...now I don't have $520 to hand. I am getting $200 coming to me sometime in the future, for artwork done recently. I mentioned this to my supervisor and he suggested that I find a "sponsor" or grant from somewhere. I need to sort this out before I can go much further.

See, I can go with colour, or I can go with black and white, but I don't have the time or money to do both.

Suggestions anyone?

I've done the last three cards in my Tarot deck + a general poster for the exhibition.

Be scanning them in tomorrow at university, and will upload them a.s.a.p.