laura_seabrook | Jun. 5th, 2012

Had an accident while walking Bobby this morning, and it was my own fault.

Took Bobby for a slightly longer walk, one that takes us over a creek via a footbridge and back via a ford upsteam. There'd been som heavy rain last weekend but I thought after a clear day it wouldn't be a promblem. Well it wasn't, exactly, and though the creek levels were down it was flowing very quickly. Got to a point where there water was less than a metre wide and threw Bobby over to the sandy bank on the other side. No problem - he was fine and happy. Then I attempted to jump - more like a large step - and landed wrong.

I had the most terrible pain in my right knee and leg, so bad that I couldn't stop crying for a couple of minutes. I hobbled home with Bobby for the rest of the walk and it flared up a couple of times. Making breakfast was awkward because I kept getting flare-ups of pain all the time. It comes to something if I have to use a walking stick around the house!

Feel broken and old.

Not the first time I've felt this way in the last few years. But I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. Is this my future, slipping more and more into major disability? The last week I've been exhausted and tired and it's been feeling like my brain's been shutting down, of mental exhaustion with cloud openings of clarity.

Feel lost and scared.