Fucked

[laura_seabrook]

I went out for an early shopping this morning (Sunday). I went to Cardiff, returned some library stuff down the chute, caught a bus back to Glendale, shopped quickly in Coles and caught the bus home. I left about 8:05am and got home by 10:10am.

And yet, I feel totally upset. I'm not sure why. It's Spring Equinox today and I just feel fucked,

Is it that (though because of my hearing difficulties I'm not sure) because Kevin's girlfriend might have been referring to me as "he"? IS it a mild panic attack over the possibility of being accosted at the end of my street while coming home with groceries (happened twice in the last three weeks)? Is it that for some reason I've stopped  making web comics? Is it that after two months, I still haven't sorted out what my values are? Or is it something else?

I don't know, but I probably need to sit out the back with the dogs and have a ponder.

Comments

hugs & comment

[still-asking.livejournal.com]

(((((laura)))))

sometimes you can't really catch your balance till you lose it first

i'm supposed to tell you this, and i'm supposed to tell you that i'm supposed to tell you - hope you follow me here, i don't mean to be obscure

blessed equinox - karen

Re: hugs & comment

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

i almost understand, because i get messages like that to tell others as well.

I feel like I lost my balance a few years ago. Trouble is it constantly feels like I'm falling :(

[shelleybear.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

Hugs

[traci7may.livejournal.com]

Hugs, Laura.

If you feel Kevin's girlfriend has been disrespectful to you maybe you should say something now rather than let it get you so upset you can't communicate properly.

What am I trying to say?

Sit down & have a chat with them, try & keep the mood calm. Maybe you overheard something and mistook the meaning?

BUT if she did refer to you as 'he' I think you need to ask Kevin to spend time at her place rather than her coming to your house.

As for the dickheads down the street, well unfortunately those type of people are everywhere & they hurl abuse at people for all manner of reasons. Just remind yourself how insecure they must be to have to speak to someone in that way.

You have more self respect & dignity in your little finger than anyone who behaves like that.

Re: Hugs

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

The trouble with teh g/f is that I can't be sure. Ihave a hearing disability and cant tell the difference between 'f', s', sh', 'th' and 'ph'. So she could have said 'she' and not 'he', and my paranoia is just playing with me.

I might have a word with Kevin after she leaves this week. Don't think going to her place is much of an option as she lives with her parents (she's EXTREMELY, though legally young).

Hi again!

[traci7may.livejournal.com]

Well I am hoping it has all just been a misunderstanding. Really, the sooner you talk to Kevin about it the better as the longer you leave it the more upset you'll get.

You said 'after she leaves this week' is she staying at your place for long periods of time? I hope she's contributing to the household in some way.

Re: Hi again!

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

She stays between 2 - 6 days at a time, starting Friday afternoons. I have a problem with how joint purchases of food are made (they tend to go off in teh car and just buy stuff without my input), but Kevin hasn't wanted to talk about it.

I did talk to Kevin this afternoon after she was gone, and he didn't think that she was saying "he".