laura_seabrook | Strange Dreams

I've had a run of odd dreams - one technicolour, and the other a classic anxiety dream.

Where's my Car?
I'd just got my car back the thursday before, after a 5 week absence.

In the first, I seem to be back in Perth, in Midland, where I lived for many years. Only this is dream Midland, like Dream Perth, which only really exists in my dreams. I'm walking along Great Eastern Highway, and everything is as if skyscapers and glossy shopping centers have replaced what was there before. I go into a doctors and then come out with an American soldier, who is "showing me around".
We walk in a great arc, around to where Morrison Road meet Great Northern Highway, where a raised railway station is the terminus for a monorail system (which appeared in an earlier dream). Below seven streets all meet in one great thouroughfare. There are stalls of all types selling anything under the sun. Just then, I realise that I don't know where my car is.The soldier just says "don't worry about it" and moves on. Eventually we get to the old post office (now a library in real life) and there she is, all shiny and white, with eyes of osiris and horus painted in black around her fround indicators. End of dream.

Well, I guess I really was glad to have her back from the mechanics! She doesn't have those eyes painted on her, but maybe that'd be a cool idea.

Look at the Freak

Just before I went to bed, I watched the last twenty minutes of the film Merlin, which starred Sam Neil in the title role. I hadn't planned it that way. Originally I was going to watch a film on SBS about changing realities, but dozed off, only to awaken to the end of the film.

I seem to be working in some media corporation, though the building it's in is on one level only and seems more like a film set than anything else, with a high ceiling and scaffolding about. At one corner there seems to be a driveway with cars coming and going and it's something to do with the Athens' Olympics. I'm dressed in a business suit: grey top and skirt, with cream blouse and red shoes.
I'm on an errand and end up in the cafeteria, and am roped in to helping with preparation of the food. There's a limited amount of space and for some reason the workers (all women, including me) start stripping to the nude. I strip too, and discover that I still have male genitalia! This is noticed by the other women and they start referring to me as "he" and I run off confused.

Somehow, I end up hiding on top of a bread rack, and people come over to gawk at me, and make rude comments. One person comes over and invites me to a party because "they want to check out the freak". I somehow twist her arm (while still being on top of the bread rack) and make her apologize.It gets worse and I call out to Merlin for help, and he (looking just like Sam Neil) walks over, bright and cheerful and says he can turn me into a rodeo cowboy, if that would help. I tell him no! and that this is all wrong that it shouldn't still be there and he says that "they sometimes grow back". End of dream.

Well, isn't that a classic "anxiety dream", but with a transgendered twist! Anyone who really knows me, knows that I'm a post-op transsexual (surgery at Phuket in 2000). But why bloody Merlin/Sam Neil as a possible tormentor? I used to think he was cute!

More seriously, it might be related to the lack of physical intimacy that I've had since surgery, and anxieties about being attractive and even feeling sexy (which right now, I don't). Time enough for that later (maybe). Sheesh!