laura_seabrook | Summer Solstice

It's Summer Solstice today, and it certainly felt like it.

I walked Pegasus in the morning. Set the alarm to 6am just for the walk. With daylight saving it pays to get up early, before the sun beats too hard done. It was a good walk, and we were both hot and sweaty (panty) by the end of it.

Then it was off to the wreckers to get a replacement rear bumper bar for my car. The old bar had the stickers "The Goddess is Alive and Dancing" and "My other car is a Broom" on it. Surviving (on the back door) are "There is no alternative to being yourself" and "Magic happens". The old bar didn't pass rego however, as it was bent all out of shape. I went to the mechanics in the afternoon and for $135 had it replaced.

Rather than wait the 2 hours in the shop, I went off to the local library and read in airconditioned comfort for the duration. See - libraries are useful! ;^) Tomorrow, I'll be able to take the car in and have it passed for rego - the only other things that needed fixing were a blown fuse for a high beam, and a cap for the LPG tank, and they're both done. :^)

So, as this is Summer Solstice, I think I'll look back and review the year, so that I can look forward to what's to come. It's been a mixture of ups and downs

Firstly, I finished my Library course at TAFE (Technical and Further Education). I don't have the results yet, but I'm fairly certain I've passed, and will have a Diploma in Library Studies. That's the end of two years of study. TAFE was certainly very different from University, where I finished my Bachelor of Visual Arts in 2001. But, I think I made some real friends at TAFE, and I enjoyed the "down to earth" framework of the study.

But next year I'm back to University. I've applied to do my Honours in Visual Arts, and have been accepted. All I need to do now is find the money to pay for the General Service Fee. I have plans for my honours. I hope to do a (REALLY LARGE) version of the Major Arcana from the Tarot, with a particular theme. All done by photo-collage. That's one of the things I plan to do, anyway.

There's also a theory component, and I hope to tackle the idea of Web Comics, and Identity, both at the same time, as in a Web Site Installation. We'll see how that one goes...

I'll have to do it part time. Not just because of stress problems, but also so that I can look for part time work as a Library Assistant. No idea if and when I'll find work, but I'm optimistic.

This year past saw so much tragedy with my pet ducks. I lost 16 of them - 6 adults and 10 ducklings. Two died of natural causes, the others were suspicious to say the least. I think that a fox got the four adults, but when it came to the ducklings I think it was a jealous drake. In any case, it's been a heavy attrition rate.

Pegasus and the cats Xena & Gabby are all OK, though Gabby had a problem with her left eye. Poor puss -- I had to take her the vets to fix it. Pegasus is seven years old now, and the cats are 5 and 6. They've been good companions, and the cats seem to be coming more cuddly as they grow older. Pegasus is starting to show his age, but then, so am I.

I've aches and pains, severe urinary track infections and now have bifocals. Those took a lot of getting used to, but do work better for me. I've had health scares and problems with being overweight, and the ever looming spectre of depression. I got taken to hospital in an Ambulance after an extremely intense pain in my chest. It turned out to be bad posture rather than a coronary.

I got "groped" on a train, coming back from a nightclub in Sydney. This almost sounds like fun, but the reality of it was anything but. I've cut down my trips to Sydney since then. I wonder if there's a connection?

This has been a year of money problems, of not having enough to do what I wanted. And yet, I bought a replacement fridge that was much better than any I've ever own, and the Rauni (my car) had major repairs which, though they ran insanely over cost, have made her more reliable, and able to withstand backfires (mostly) at last. And what backfires she had -- with one I was able to drive to the mechanics (at a speed of 5-20 km/h) by stuffing an old towel in the air filter. But because of these expenses, other things didn't get done. the back gutters (and elsewhere) on the house need fixing, and I have no idea where to start.

I've had job interviews, exams, work placement (while the Raun was off the road), assignments and other deadlines to meet. I've had visitors in March (who marched with me in the Mardi Gras Parade) and October (who went to some of This Is Not Art with me). But apart from one season in an ambulance, there's been no panic attacks or seizures.

Lots of stuff happened this year, Maybe it did last year too, but it felt like more was going on in my life this year. The Summer Solstice is about looking forward to what might be. And what's to come for next year?

Well, there'll be Honours at Newcastle Uni, and the works that go with it. That will actually give me some structure. I'll be job hunting when I can. I know that I'll have to keep pushing myself on that one. Finding employment in the Libraries is not easy, but will come if I'm persistent.

I want to fix those gutters, and finally it'd be nice to re-paint some of the house. And of course I've placed an advert for a boarder. No responses yet, but who knows? I was hoping that a friend from Western Australia would be coming to stay, but that's not worked out. Never mind. The prospect of having a boarder scares me a bit (well, a lot, actually) but I need the money and the company. It would help me make more of an effort, in housekeeping at least.

It's funny, but there's been points in this year when I've felt the loneliness of being alone so very very keenly, like the only time I got down to "Blink" (a nightclub in the Cross) and broke down emotionally (though this was after being on a radio magazine about "virginity" where I was the "TG rep"). And yet there's been other times when I've been perfectly happy to be by (not counting the pets) by myself. The pets have been great however, in grounding me and helping to keep me sane.

But I need company. i miss the play of ideas and the presence of someone else around the house. I'm not talking about sex, though my libido has been at an all time low, but just the ability to talk to someone other than shop assistants, mechanics and clerks. Who knows who I might meet this year.

I guess I'll have to wait and see.