Did I fuck up and kill Peggy before his time?

[laura_seabrook]

I was just talking to Susan who has 11 dogs of her own and was at some time going to go on walks with me. Anyway, I told her that Pegasus had died and she said that he should have gone to the vets before now and that he died because he hadn't.

When Peggy was ill before he seemed to recover after we gave him paraffin (the theory was that he had a hairball).  That was back on the 9th. My pay day was the 8th but two days later Bobby was bitten and I took him to the vet, so the money to take Peggy to the vet got spent on that. Peggy got better and it didn't seem to be as urgent any more. Then I paid a huge power bill (over $400) and I thought that I could wait until maybe this coming Wednesday (pay day) and do it then. I mean I'd been away on the weekend of the 18th. Kevin and Michelle (who has a car) had been away last weekend and left yesterday and weren't going to be back until Monday, so Wednesday seemed a sensible date.

But it was too late wasn't it? Shit, did I just piss away his life because I mismanaged things (and maybe because I was afraid the vet would tell me to put him down)? Maybe I could have got Jenny earlier. Maybe I should have taken him to the vet last week. I just don't know, because I don't know what he died of. He'd had intermittent breathing problems for the last year but each time it seemed like a mild cold. Did he catch stuff of me? Did he catch bronchitis from me maybe?

I just don't know. I just feel very upset right now.

Comments

[faffinoodle.livejournal.com]

Dogs can't get what humans have...
Though you say he had breathing problems for the last year?? Did he cough also?
My first dog which I had since 1988 would cough, she died in 2003 as I had to get her put down. She had fluid on her lungs and it would have eventually killed her. The same thing happened to Ben's dog...

I don't think Peggy died before his time, you're just blaming yourself because you're thinking a bit too much & that woman put a thought in your head (which isn't very fair in my opinion).

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

I think you're right.
I'm working it through just now.

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

It's too easy to beat yoruself up over might-have-beens. Peggy had a grand life with you and it was time for him to go. Nothing either you or a Vet coudl have done would have done more than prolong his final misery.

Celebrate the good times you had.

[redcountess]

I think your friend was incredibly insensitive to have said that. I'm sorry for your loss.

[laura-seabrook.livejournal.com]

Well I haven't heard or seen much of her since then.