You might remember a few years back I referred to two policemen who revealed the gender history of suspect's transgender girlfriend to him, and he later assaulted her so badly she was hospitalised for several days (I was was so upset reading about this I mentioned it on the SL Trans community, not that anyone reads that much).

Just saw an update via Facebook on this. Original story at That ain't no way to treat a lady. The bits that concerned me were:

...The District Court this month overturned the convictions of police constables Brendan Ritson and Tyrone Stacey for breaching privacy laws by telling Fell's unsuspecting then boyfriend Garrick Jacobson that he was, in fact, in a relationship with a man....

...Lawyers for the policemen successfully argued they had not told Jacobson anything that was not already in the public arena.
Judge Anthony Blackmore found that when Fell appeared in court to plead guilty to four counts of assault after the London flight, the court had been told "that she was or had been male" and courts are open to the public.
However, the judge rejected the argument that the two officers had been acting in the course of their duty when they embarrassed and humiliated Jacobson.
He ruled that the officers had been doing so for their own gratification because it could not be "within their official functions to humiliate a suspect".
Constable Stacey is now back at work, rejoining Harbourside Local Area Command last Monday. Constable Ritson is still on suspension and his lawyer Simon Mitchell yesterday had no comment on whether he would be returning to work....

OK, so there's been an investigation and it seems that both parties have been acquitted of the original charge (if that's the right term). Justice has been done. And yet I'm still worried about this. Why?

Well let's suppose for the sake of argument that I'm a trans women who's done her transition and has a gender recognition certificate (which changes ones birth status from M to F) and I've been bashed by an abusive boy or girlfriend whom I've known for about 3 weeks. What are my options? Do I go to the police and risk exposure and maybe get another bashing? Maybe that's unlikely to happen, but there's still a chance. What if the police staff dealing with my complaint makes the assumption that "I don't pass" (whether or not I do) and lets that slip to the boy/girlfriend?

Maybe it was just a mistake - but in such a situation does one take the risk, especially if you're not directly open about one's gender status. I mean, it may be "common knowledge" but that is often wrong. In an ideal world this wouldn't be an issue, but we don't leave in ideal world.

Will post updates if I see any.

(manually cross posted to LJ journal and Trans Comm)

Wikipedia describes her as...

"...a Tucson-based trans/genderqueer singer-songwriter who has been touring the United States since 2002 when she released her first album, Boy in a Dress. She has since released seven albums on her own record label, Flaming Dame Records. Brennet has opened the concert for Melissa Ferrick, Jill Sobule, Alix Olson, and Michelle Shocked. She has been reviewed by various magazines including Performing Songwriter, The Advocate and The Skinny (UK)."

And she has a website as well!

Crossposts: http://laura-seabrook.livejournal.com/981074.html

From RHRealityCheck.org.Good advice for the gender dysphoric teen.

Read a friend's journal how they are sick of being consider a "public other" because of their trans status. There was a a lot more - including about the difficulty of dating, sex and relationships - and it pushed a lot of buttons in me.

Today is the start of O-Week at university and I am not ready, and have not been able to do anything in the last two months to prepare for my confirmation. I went out yesterday to buy flea bombs and worming stuff and missed the bus, coming back 90 minutes later than I wanted. I felt hot and bothered, had diarrhoea and slept most of the time.

Today we might flea bomb the house, maybe. Tomorrow I see my counsellor, and because she's located not far from where jenny's husband is, I thought I might take Bobby with me and visit him first. maybe.

Otherwise, I just feel sick, tired, lonely, sad and confused.

As per...

...for details email transdayofremembrance@gmail.com

Current Mood: determined

[Error: unknown template qotd]...because it's the only one I have? I think it's a leading question. Anyone who's undergone gender transition and any kind of reassignment surgery probably loves their body more than they did, but - I still feel overweight (120kg) and I often feel ill or sick. Maybe I don't love my body, otherwise I'd try harder on losing weight and feeling fitter, wouldn't I?

Current Mood: annoyed

I encountered a new (for me) term at QC - Genderqueer - when I went to the Trans / Genderqueer caucus. A caucus is meeting in which issues common to the minority at QC (but which might be overlooked by the majority) are raised and later presented to the conference floor.

Initially I felt very confronted at the caucus. This was partly, that without a "reader" (a booklet that gives a brief overview of different terms and issues used and referred to at the conference) I had no idea what Genderqueer was, so how would I know if it was appropriate for me, as a trans woman, to be at the caucus? I never really heard a definition of the term at the conference and the only evidence I could see (or hear) was the use of different pronouns when referring to people (which I was corrected on later back at the hostel, but to be honest I was lucky to remember anyone's name let alone pronoun).

Mind you, there were other issues for me there as well. Being in a room in a circle of 40+ people I don't really know plays right into my anxiety problems (as did several other workshops and conference floors at the conference). so it was difficult for me to not make a bolt for the door or have a panic attack. In fact I left a later workshop on Polyamoury because I'd sat near the door, and the constant stream of people coming in (behind me) really disturbed me.

Looking at the Genderqueer page at wikipedia, I can now say that I don't feel this way, but I do understand why Trans was included with it. Almost as big a bit of information as understanding the word cisgender.

Current Mood: cold

surprised Apparently true (sometimes it's hard to tell with celebrities). Details at Entertainment Fix. As I said elsewhere, Cher might be one parent more able to take this in her stride, or maybe I'm confusing her with the character she played in Mask.

Current Mood: surprised
Current Music: Dead or Alive - [Nukleopatra - Australian Edition #05] Picture This

Went to the chip shop earlier with the dogs. Apart from Hallie pulling me over in the mud twice, I caught a "YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" shouted at me by a passing car. Oddly I wasn't so much upset as annoyed. It just identifies them as wankers and cowards.

Current Mood: annoyed

After the rock throwing incident last night I went back this morning to get copies of the CCTV footage. However, Heather, who knows how to work the system, wasn't there. I'll be going back at 5pm when she's there (and taking hallie with me).

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Alan Parsons Project (The Essential) CD 1 - [The Essential CD 1 #01] The raven

I was assaulted after I passed the chip shop at the roundabout about an hour ago.

As I was negotiating the cars coming off the roundabout I heard abuse being shouted at me from behind. I had my hands full of shopping, and was wearing pants with bad elastic, so I chose to ignore it. The abuse continued and at least one rock was thrown at me. Rather than race back immediately, I continued on up the street back home.

Then I got changed and went back to the shop. I was going to take a jimmy bar or hoe with me, but Kevin persuaded me to take Hallie instead. When I got there they were gone. I told the shopkeeper about it and he thought he knew who they were and I had a look at the CCTV footage and sure enough, they're shown on it at 6:18pm.

I'm going back with a memory stick tomorrow and getting a copy of the video footage. One of them lives in my street! I'm not going to take this shit!

Been ill for the last two weeks, and didn't go to uni for a week until today. but it didn't stop me from going up to Tuntable Falls or watching Wolverine or Star Trek. I find that I haven't got much further with my Masters than I was a month ago.

I need to:

Research and Script two graphic novels;
research techniques for printing both
(by producing Hypergraphia 7 and converting web comics to paper);
Start on my research paper (a review of transgender art and transgendered artists).

But it seems very hard to get anywhere. I get to uni, and seem to get lost and distracted. I don't know what's wrong with me, But at this rate NOTHING will get done.

Current Mood: worried

Another of my Comic-Videos on Youtube:

Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: K.D. Lang - [Ingénue #10] Constant Craving

artistic ...so I made this instead:

Current Mood: creative

Academic I did a bit of thinking about my Masters while I was away in Sydney.

The first thing is that I'm going to dump the current research topic and replace it with:

Transgendered Art: looking at the altered self
An investigation into both art that focuses on altered and variant genders, and art created by transgendered persons, with a focus on comics and illustrative works.

This makes better sense when my work is two graphic novels that are directly related to Transgender concepts and themes. It'll also be easier to research (I had no idea about methodology for the previous topic), maintain and present.

The second thing is in organising my research and time at university. I have two graphic novels and a research paper to do. It seems clear to me now that staying home to do these is problematic. There are too many distraction and issues here to do this properly. So, what I will do is go to university at least three days each week, and each day will be devoted to one of the above.

I stand a better chance of completing them if I do this, I know I will. And I know I need to start doing this now.

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Shit, where to start? There's at least: epilepsy, gender dysphoria, and extreme shyness (and other health issues). But - it's not always obvious to oneself that "emerging as a better person" is what's happened. Maybe that's only a rationalisation on my part.

Current Mood: contemplative

...is approaching real fast on 20th November.

I haven't done my web comic for it yet, like I did last year. In fact I haven't drawn any comics since Pegasus died (the one I used for his RIP was an existing sketch), all I did was rearrange the dates on ones I did before his death. But I need to for this, it's important.

The 1st of December is World AIDS Day and everyone focuses attention on the problem of HIV/AIDS and how it affects people. And this is a good thing. Lost friends to AIDS. But it tends to overshadow something like the Transgender Day of Remembrance. See, HIV is a virus that causes AIDS which untreated will kill people. The Transgender Day of Remembrance on the other hand, was set aside to memorialise those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice - people killing other people just for who they are. And while there's a chance that the average person might have heard about World AIDS Day, there's far less chance they they've heard of the Day of Remembrance.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm trans, so this is an issue that directly affects me. As if there isn't enough killing in this world, folk go out and find reasons to do more. Rather than examine themselves about the causes of their own homophobia and transphobia, some folk will attack and/or kill us. Not only that, but they'll do the same to people involved with us, or mistaken for us. Any wonder I get a little paranoid with dickheads in the street and on the bus.

And it's a fucking outrage.
You bastards (and bitches) who do this
- it makes me very very angry and very very sad at the same time -
how fucking dare you, how fucking dare you!

So I need to do something to mark the passing of others who died purely because of who they are, to mark this "fact of (trans) life". A few years ago I was going to organise a service at a local church. But, I was finishing my Honours, a bad organiser, and my father died just before that time. It never happened, though I was able to contribute to the Web Comic Project .

This year, I've been preoccupied with Peggy's death, which has upset me greatly. But I can still draw, still make comics when I'm focused, and I need to do that now. The theme this year is "to illustrate a word or a feeling that the Day of Remembrance makes you feel". You might just get a hint of this above. I'd better get to it.

Lest we forget:

Known Transgender Murders in 2008 (taken from this page):

January 8th - Patrick Murphy, Age 39 - Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States - Shot multiple times in the head.
January 22nd, in her 20s - Fedra - Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia - Found dead in a pool of blood.
January 23rd - Adolphus Simmons, Age 18 - Charleston, North Carolina, United States - Shot to death while taking out the trash.
February 4th - Ashley Sweeney - Detroit, Michigan, United States - Found dead in Detroit's East Side, shot in the head.
February 10th - Shanesha Stewart, age 25 - The Bronx, New York, United States - Stabbed to death.
February 12th - Lawrence King, age 15 - Oxnard, California, United States - Killed by a fellow student after being asked to be Lawrence's valentine.
February 15th - Cameron McWilliams, age 10 - South Yorkshire, England, United Kingdom - Suicide by hanging.
February 22nd - Simmie Williams, Jr, Age 17 - Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States - Killed by two gunmen.
March 15th - Luna, Age 42 - Lisbon, Portugal - Beaten to death, and thrown in a dumpster.
May 26th - Felicia Melton-Smyth - Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - Stabbed.
July 1st - Ebony Whitaker, Age 20 - Memphis, Tennessee - Shot to death.
July 11th - Rosa Pazos - Sevilla, Spain - Stabbed in the throat in her apartment.
July 17th - Angie Zapata, Age 17 - Greeley, Colorado, United States - Beaten to death.

Current Mood: angry and sad

I found out yesterday that one can set visibility of the groups that one is a member of so that they don't appear on one's profile to others (it's a tick box in the group's profile). That being the case, it's possible to have it both ways in SL - you can be both a member of the groups that you want, but still be in "stealth" so that no one else necessarily knows.

Second life is at times problematic for me. I've discovered that I enjoy making clothes, accessories and avatars, like the Daria Morgendorffer one shown to the right - I created an ALT Laurel Galli just to focus on building and learning.

I still use my original avatar Elsie Broek for socialising and support. Groups like gimpgirl (which has both an SL and LJ presence) do help. But some times I find that SL just magnifies the insecurities and anxieties that beset me in real life. Until I get to know people in RL, it can be hard for me to be comfortable with them. I get the "I don't know what to say" block.

I had thought that in SL I might try and connect with people who acknowledge their transgender status (even though there's no need for them to do so), as that would be a point in common. I've been finding the too most obvious trans support groups there to be less than helpful. When I go to the Transgender Lounge I sometimes feel less supported than before, and the Resource Centre is a very hit and miss (though if I ever buy land in SL I want a house like that one).

It may be that I'm making a mistake by going back to these places. In RL I seem to be in a "post trans" state where issues of transition as such seem well behind me, and day to day existence after transition involves different sets of issues. And yet, finding places in RL where I'm comfortable, or can chat with people in a casual and open way about RL, seem very scarce indeed. I know that this is as much my own issue as anyone else's. As a consequence, I seem to find myself feeling more and more isolated in SL of late.

So perhaps I need to consider how much time I'm spending in SL and what I'm doing with it. I haven't drawn a new web comic since 13th August, and am starting to feel that maybe my time and attention is being diverted into SL instead.

Current Mood: contemplative

They're at it again. OK, in the last few days I've had three different encounters at bus stops and on buses.

( Details under the cut )

So these encounters seem to be so different, from amusing to annoying. I am just so sick of people assuming that if they spot one thing about me it gives them licence to be idiots. To all those idiots, this youtube video is for you:

Current Mood: annoyed

Under the cut is my 2nd draft of my Masters proposal which I should be submitting tomorrow. I can't tell you just how stressed I've been to get to this point. Right or wrong, I've felt that these projects are "too important" to fuck up. So here's the second draft (ignore the strange characters as this is an export from Open Office):

( Masters Proposal )

Just looking through this, I can see I have to make a few minor corrections before I submit. However, this time I'm "that close" (falls into corner a gibbering wreck)!

Comments Please!

Current Mood: nervous

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Laura Seabrook's Ramblings

Stuff about Laura and her friends

Entries tagged with trans

Brigette Fell Follow-up

Namoli Brennet

Get Real! I Feel Like My Body Is Wrong, But My Parents Say My Feelings Are Wrong | RHRealityCheck.or

sigh

Trans Day of Remembrance performance Night

Writer's Block: I Love My Body Because…

Genderqueer?

Sex change: Cher's daughter Chastity soon to be "Chaz"

Wankers in cars

Delay on obtaining video

Assaulted at Roundabout

Studies not happening

Rite of Passage

I couldn't sleep...

Thoughts about the Masters

Writer's Block: Challenges I’ve Faced

Transgender Day of Remembrance...

Second Life Contemplation

The bus encounters

Real Life Tests : recycled lives examined