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KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

Once again sick and tired of Facebook changing and imposing shit on their users without either consultation or choice.

Have decided to dismantle my current Facebook account. I have tried to just get off it before but it's too good for some things, and I feel the need to keep my artist's page there. So, I need to find out just how I can do that, but lose the main account.
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Yes, just now on the bus!
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I am still angry and upset, even 20-30 minutes later.

I got accosted on the bus coming home with a full load of shopping by three young drunks. First fucking words - "Hey, that's really a guy!" I had my mobile phone radio on and pretended to not hear them, but maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should have just stood up and demanded an apology.

Seriously, I think I have a major anger problem.

I kept having visions of how nice it would be to stab them or bash their brains in with a kosh. When I lived in Carrington there was a group of youths who used to run up and kick my door in as they passed. One day I had a bit of forewarning about this and chased one of them with my kitchen knife. On other occasions I've chased teenage kids down the street with the axle off a wheelie bin. The rage just welled up in me.

I have a history of grand mal epilepsy and it it occurs to me that tendency towards violence might be influenced by that. I really don't know, but I'm sick and fucking tired of no brain wanker fuck wits taking it upon themselves to abuse me. Despite the fact that these feelings of rage scare me, the next one gets an eye gouged out (maybe).

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Of the 11 questions mentioned below, I've been asked at least 9 of them (and more than once). Is it any wonder I draw covers like this?

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I just had an attack of road rage. For a while I absolutely wanted to ram another car full of teenage yobs and kill them. I'm not exagerating - that's exactly what I felt.

The Story )

I'm calm now, but this has scared the living shit out of me. I feel terribly terribly unstable. I don't know if all of a sudden I'll feel absolute fits of depression and grief, or uncontrolable rage. The last time I felt the latter, I chased idiot kids up street with a wheelie bin axle. I don't want to be this way. It worries me.

I know what sort of day this is, 'cause I've had 'em before. It's the sort of day when, if you phone friends or go to see them, they're not there; when you go to a counsellor, they're booked out for two weeks. I had originally come out to do the RTA and print of some more Tarot flyers at the uni. Maybe I should just go home.

I just feel absolutely fucked today. What's happening to my emotions.

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August 2019

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