Laura Seabrook's Ramblings

Um, what happened yesterday?

Got three pages done of Tales, and was going to do either a page of Trope World, or start an animation in Flash. Only I got distracted in a big way. I was more or less on the study PC from 5pm until 11:30pm, but no Trope World of Flash. OK, I have to admit I spent a lot of time in Second Life, but it was enjoyable, very enjoyable.

But for the second day running I forgot to bring in the washing; and although I'd set up the wax pot (was going to face wax before having a shower, and then dress my leg wound afterwards) and all of that went out the window. In fact I found it still on this morning - I have a poor sense of smell and the mirror light that reminds me it's on had blown out!

And there were odd frustrations - power flickered off and on , especially towards midnight when strong winds blew up and  killed more than light bulb, one of my wireless keyboards died (luckily it's on the media PC and I don't use the keyboard all the time on that one, the mouse still works). I sort of forgot to have dinner, and was feeling really odd by 11pm.

Today was going to be my artist's date but I woke with a sinus headache, feeling dizzy and my right knee and fingers feel inflamed. I had great trouble writing my morning pages. Was thinking of going up to Maitland Gallery maybe, but think that would be ill advised. Amoung the things forgot yesterday was cleaning and dressing the thing on my leg. Despite the image shown here, it had improved, and was slowly growing skin.

Had a band-aid on it just now, but I think I need to wax, have a shower.and clean and dress it. After that I don't know. No artist's date today I suspect, but maybe a trip to a G.P.

please

can't cope with more fucking shit

seeing my counsellor tomorrow

got a lot to talk about

Minor accident.

Came down to the front room to type the last post and forgot about the fry pan full of oil on the stove. Minor fire, lots of smoke. Clearing it out now. Pegasus moved! He's now in the front room.

I am still angry and upset, even 20-30 minutes later.

I got accosted on the bus coming home with a full load of shopping by three young drunks. First fucking words - "Hey, that's really a guy!" I had my mobile phone radio on and pretended to not hear them, but maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should have just stood up and demanded an apology.

Seriously, I think I have a major anger problem.

I kept having visions of how nice it would be to stab them or bash their brains in with a kosh. When I lived in Carrington there was a group of youths who used to run up and kick my door in as they passed. One day I had a bit of forewarning about this and chased one of them with my kitchen knife. On other occasions I've chased teenage kids down the street with the axle off a wheelie bin. The rage just welled up in me.

I have a history of grand mal epilepsy and it it occurs to me that tendency towards violence might be influenced by that. I really don't know, but I'm sick and fucking tired of no brain wanker fuck wits taking it upon themselves to abuse me. Despite the fact that these feelings of rage scare me, the next one gets an eye gouged out (maybe).

Well, today ran true to form. I think in future when I'm feeling sick, I ought to stay home and not go out at all.

Went to uni and got my purse back, that was OK. Went to Wallsend Library and that was OK. Went to a stretch of road for a "photographic test" and that was OK. And then I got to Stocklands Glendale, and it all turned to shit. I went to K-Mart, Target, Go-Lo, Coles and Woolworths. And in Woolworths I was more or less accused of attempted shop lifting.

Not happy, not happy. I was extremely upset over this. I don't shop lift and never have. In fact, I have a huge irrational fear of being accused of exactly this - I always have. I know it's stupid, but there it is.

I phoned Kevin afterwards because I could barely contain myself. Caught the bus home (after thinking that I'd missed the bus while on the phone, but it was the one going the other way). Got home, and got a paper cut while trying to open a box of Panamax - that was enough to set me off kicking and screaming for a bit. I calmed down a little, after watching the last four episodes of Season 6 of Buffy (the arc were Willow goes "dark" and starts killing people).

Not happy. I intend to send an e-mail of complaint to Woolworths, with a carbon copy to Coles. Going to post a draft of this in the next post - I want your opinions before I send it.

The job fell thru.

My potential; employer was saying things like "Well my wife and I think it'd be a great idea, but..." and the "BUT" was basically that he couldn't afford me. I phoned him yesterday and he said that he hadn't done anything to raise the money for it.

"Huh?"

I didn't say anything at the time, but it was pretty clear that I was getting the run-around. Went in to see Amy today, and after a bit of discussion, we discovered that this isn't the first time he's acted like this. Said the same thing August last year about someone else they sent there.

Right.

Time to move on. Don't know exactly where to though I did get AMY to print the list of TAFE courses available at Glendale, Newcastle, and Hamilton branches.

Here's the weird thing - I feel disappointed, yes. But I also feel relieved.

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Maybe I should focus on doing something for this years "More than Pink" exhibition in October.

OK, here's what happened.

I was on the Internet when the Energy Australia rep called, and to clinch the deal I was supposed to phone a 1800 number. I just said that I was downloading something (I wasn't) and as she had about a dozen other places in the street to go to, she said that she'd come back later, and that even though she was supposed to be there when I phoned, I could do it myself.

What I did was go out the back (sitting on a "new" sofa that I got from a verge up the road earlier today) and have a read of the contract, and the info sheets that came with it. Apparently if I paid my bill over the counter (like I do now, at the Post Office) there was a $2 surcharge, but none if I had payments automatically deducted. If I moved before the 3 years was up (unlikely) there was a cancellation fee ($125) and I wasn't even sure what my discount was going to be.

I waited and waited, and she didn't show. I went back inside, had dinner and started to watch Futurama, and finally she turned up. I phoned the 1800 number and waited and waited and waited. I casually commented that I disliked using the phone because "sometimes due to a deep voice they think I'm a guy". Well  waited 10 minutes and finally got through and it was a male Indian voice at the other end. He called me "Sir" twice and I corrected him, and when he called me "sir" a third time I hung up. The rep looked a little surprised and I explained why I was upset and she said that if I still wanted the discount that I could take the paperwork in to the Jesmond Office, and then she left, apologising for the voice from the call centre.

Hmmm. Had to work this out. The discount was $100 spread over 3 years, or $33.35 a year. I don't really like to have automatic payments, and assuming quarterly billing that'd be $8 a year in charges (the voice told me that if I didn't sign, there'd be no charge for that), so that'd be only $25.34 a year, with all sorts of charges if I'm late paying.

Think I'm better off not going on a three year contract. Maybe I won't save $25.34 a year, but it'll be more peace of mind.

I'll sort this out on Monday.