Laura Seabrook's Ramblings

Bugger - I was checking MyHub, which is one of the net based databases at the university (it holds a version of your study details) to check when my mandatory lectures are on. They're on Tuesday (today) between 16:00 (4pm) and 18:00 (6pm). This seems an unusually late time considering that the Honours seminars were between 1:30pm and 2:30pm.

What makes this awkward is that my last bus home from the uni leaves at 6:06pm, which gives me six minutes to get from the lecture to the bus stop. I can probably do that (sometimes the bus leaves early) but this is annoying. Even a mere 30 minutes earlier and there'd by margin for error.

I have an appointment with my new case worker at the employment agency today at 2pm. Originally it was yesterday but she changed it at the last minute. I also need to do some shopping. This means that the sensible thing would be to stay home, go to that appointment, go shopping, take the shopping to the lecture, run for the bus, and come home.

Hmmm. Sometimes it sucks not having my own transport.

Yep, I went out and about yesterday and my foot hurts because of it. But not as much as last week. I think the ankle support helps. I was going to stay home all day today but I have a 4pm appointment at the employment agency in town today - which I only found out about via an SMS yesterday. I considered ignoring it, but I can catch an express bus all the way in (an hour early) and one home as well.

Less walking, and maybe I'll go to the library first.

I have an interview for that job at the nursing home today. Should be fun. Actually, everything happens at once. Isn't that always the way? I was going to go to the library, the university and the shops today. Still can but I have to cut going to the last meeting this year of the Queer Collective short.

And it's drizzling rain outside. The muggy sort that clings to you even if you do have a brolly. Just as well my contact is picking me up at the uni.

Guess who missed the bus again this morning (me of course)?

I needed to catch the *:47am bus from the shops in order to get into the CBD for an 11am appointment at the employment agency. I thought I left with enough time to spare, but got delayed by the woman who lives down the street wanting to know if I knew who owned a stolen dog. As I stood there talking to her, I saw the bus turn the corner and drive up Northville Drive! She couldn't drive me because her car was "not running well". In an impetuous moment I started to walk to the BP, about 4km away - I got as far as the bridge before the knee hurt too much. I phoned and changed the appointment - now it's at 1pm - and came back home to wait.

This is just so frustrating. Not coping well with anything at the moment and this is par for the course. I've half a mind to tell the agency that I don't feel competent any more to look for work. My key worker wanted me to "brain storm" a letter of introduction to an employer explaining why I'd be an asset to them. Last night, after writing a statement about the dog attack on Bobby (which I passed on to the ranger this morning) I sat there and just froze up in front of the screen. Just like the end of last year, when I was trying to write my Masters proposal. It's like a brick wall. My mind goes blank.

I've had it with stuff lately. Can't concentrate much any more and feel like shit.

It's been chaos here after  re-arranging the lounge room and Kevin cleaning up his end of the house for his girlfriend's visit tomorrow. I have an appointment today but couldn't find the card, and was afraid I was too late. Luckily I thought to phone them and it's at 1pm, so I have plenty of time to continue cleaning up.

I couldn't get through to my friend in Bathurst, so I guess I'm not going there for a short break. Hmmm.

It was day 2 of my housekeeping training today (day 1 was yesterday, and I missed it because I didn't know I was "in" until the afternoon). We did Occupational Health & Safety today.

I knew more or less most of this stuff from when I did my library course, but it was more interestingly presented, and more relevant to the subject (housekeeping). In the afternoon we played a flash game called Virtual Office (see image below) and I found a new one called Hidden Hazards.

There was also a video about OH&S as well, but I was gob-smacked by sequences that showed chicken sorting in a hatchery.

On the way home I spent just over $100 on new clothes, bras, and socks. There's six days of practical and I need to wear black and have my hair tied back. I look on the purchases as an investment, but it's embarrassing to buy size 26 tops and 24 pants, and only 20B bras.

A face wax and a a shampoo's in order tonight as well. I'm going to have to "lift my game" as far as personal appearance goes. Being depressed a lot just seems to make things slip in that way.

The possibility of going on a Housekeeping course just fell through.

I had a message left for me on Thursday by my case worker but it seemed to indicate that the course started tomorrow, would be three days a week for three weeks. But on that day I couldn't get through to my case worker, so I had no details and didn't know if I was in or not. Not knowing's been eating away at me. I was quite prepared to do what it took on short notice, but no notice has just kept me in a state of stress.

Got a message this morning him. I missed out on a spot. Argh. It was one reason I couldn't get to sleep last night. Very annoying.

Andrew took me to Glendale today and the employment agency bought me clothes for a potential interview.

Amy did this for me earlier in the year, but that included a pair of shoes and was done at Rivers, so the results weren't all that good. There was a $120 budget which was spent (minus maybe 25 cents) on: 1Cyan Blue jacket; 1black slacks; 1black skirt (though I bought myself a second skirt); and 3tops (in white/orange/green). Good stuff, and my confidence is increased.

Went in to the employment agency yesterday and I'll be going back there today.

Andrew helped me make a start on the application, and it made a difference. If I try to do this myself, I'd just freeze. I'm going back to today and finish it. I'm also going back in "interview" clothes to see how I look.

Here's what we have so far:

( Details behind Cut )